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What would U do?

buyer won item in size 8 shipped it out and she says "Thank you for the prompt shipment. We are very happy with the dress, however it appears that we need to have a size 10 instead. The dress that I purchased is a size 8. I will send the dress that we have to you on Monday. I will need to have the new dress sent to a different address since we will be there for Christmas. Thank you in advance for helping us. ROB"

I have been at the recieving end of almost $500 lost this season as
1. PO lost a package with sig confirmation and insurered package - still waiting for PO to let me know
2. buyer cheated me of $200 of a dress
so

I dont want to ship for free
I dont want to cancel the auction for free
niether do I want to ship to unconfirmed address / diff addy after they return
I also dont want to ship item before I get my item back

I am also worried that since they can prove to paypal they returned the item and if they buy item out of ebay they can turn around and say look I returned the item BUT I can not prove to paypal I sent it if I DO send it out to the unconfirmed second address

Please HELP!
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