Thought ya would like that one! My olive branch has been accepted then? LOL
Lets get everyone in the Christmas mood with some seasonal music! Christmas Playlist
I cannot take credit for this however. It is Suthrnjewls that she posted on the other forum I belong to.
Thanks Suthrnjewl
BTW Miss M feel free to copy it and pass it out, after all it is on the WWW, free domain Yadda Yadda Yadda
You never needed an olive branch....didn't you see all my smiley faces ??
Well, it won't be long before we hit 1000 views on here, thanks to our silliness!
Tis the Christmas season though! Evil Santa likes playing the devils advocate.
How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
1000 views Pete! Give us 3 more hours and we will be there!
How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
1000 views Pete! Give us 3 more hours and we will be there!
OK I really need Shirley now...she's probably out practicing her curveball..
Ok People 943 views as of this post! wonder how close I will be with my 3 hour estimate for 1000?
A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed "LOOK! A box of donut seeds!
A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed "LOOK! A box of donut seeds!
Not to mention 6 pages so far too
I'm so happy I was off work this week so I could be involved in all this
I'm so happy I was off work this week so I could be involved in all this
Ok so I must have been a bit closer with Lisa? Lori?
quote:Brenda????????? WAY off base! Keep trying
No, those were way off base too
Huge Hint: Starts with an S but not spelled the usual way.....
Pete and Shirley are missing all the fun yet again! Although isn't it the middle of the night in the UK now ??
Huge Hint: Starts with an S but not spelled the usual way.....
Pete and Shirley are missing all the fun yet again! Although isn't it the middle of the night in the UK now ??
Wow. 977 views...I wonder why no one else wants to join in our craziness ??
Everybody is welcome
Everybody is welcome
Only 9:40 pm in England? Suzanne?
Did anyone click the Christmas music link I posted?
Yeah I was wondering the same thing? Everyone is just watching us laughing their A**es off I guess?quote:I wonder why no one else wants to join in our craziness ??
Everybody is welcome
Did anyone click the Christmas music link I posted?
Well well!
I can't believe you guessed it so soon! You spelled it wrong tho, it's Susanne.
Now we have to try to pry ninth's name out of him
I guess unlike some of the rest of us, Pete actually has a life
NO offense intended to anyone....
I can't believe you guessed it so soon! You spelled it wrong tho, it's Susanne.
Now we have to try to pry ninth's name out of him
I guess unlike some of the rest of us, Pete actually has a life
NO offense intended to anyone....
I think we may have hit the magic 1000!Edit: Yup 1007! OK yup we got Susanne now so Ninth is the next target I guess!
Sooner than expected too! Gotta go feed the dogs..talk to ya later
Alrighty I gotta go make supper myself and then off to feed the cats the leftovers. Of course there might not be much leftover. New York Strip steaks tonight.
awww, did I miss you guys? (and gal ) Been working on computer and rearranging the furniture. I like it!
I gave a hint on the other thread that it's not gender specific. LOL I was going for the shortened version.
Also said over there:
My guess for Ninth - Aaron
hah I should just go get it and copy/paste lol
Back soon with a joke.
I gave a hint on the other thread that it's not gender specific. LOL I was going for the shortened version.
Also said over there:
My guess for Ninth - Aaron
hah I should just go get it and copy/paste lol
Back soon with a joke.
That clue would have been enough of a clue for me with your LOL added!
Sorry that took so long. Daughter called. Uhoh Taz. Better be careful with my clues then.
A blonde has a stroke of luck and gets herself a red convertible sports car. It's her dream car! She decides to dye her hair red to go with the car and she loves it.
So she's riding on a country road in her new sports car with the top down, her new red hair flying in the wind, enjoying the view.
She sees a flock of sheep and thinks... hmmm, I've always wanted a sheep. She stops and walks out to the sheep herder, tells him she always wanted a sheep of her own, and asks him "If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I have one?" He thinks to himself, now what are the odds of that, and tells her "Sure, you can have one if you can tell me how many there are."
She guesses 289, and the sheep herder is shocked! She got it!! He says "Well ma'am, a deal's a deal. Choose which sheep you'd like and it's yours." So she picks one and heads back to her convertible with it, just ecstatic to have a pet sheep to go with her new car and her new hair.
The sheep herder comes running up yelling "Ma'am, ma'am! Stop! Wait!!" She waits for him to catch up to find out what all the yelling's about.
He tells her "If I can tell you what your original hair color is, can I have my dog back?"
A blonde has a stroke of luck and gets herself a red convertible sports car. It's her dream car! She decides to dye her hair red to go with the car and she loves it.
So she's riding on a country road in her new sports car with the top down, her new red hair flying in the wind, enjoying the view.
She sees a flock of sheep and thinks... hmmm, I've always wanted a sheep. She stops and walks out to the sheep herder, tells him she always wanted a sheep of her own, and asks him "If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I have one?" He thinks to himself, now what are the odds of that, and tells her "Sure, you can have one if you can tell me how many there are."
She guesses 289, and the sheep herder is shocked! She got it!! He says "Well ma'am, a deal's a deal. Choose which sheep you'd like and it's yours." So she picks one and heads back to her convertible with it, just ecstatic to have a pet sheep to go with her new car and her new hair.
The sheep herder comes running up yelling "Ma'am, ma'am! Stop! Wait!!" She waits for him to catch up to find out what all the yelling's about.
He tells her "If I can tell you what your original hair color is, can I have my dog back?"
OK Evil Santa is baaack!
That was good Shirley
What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme!
That was good Shirley
What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme!
LOL Evil Santa is a baaaaaaad boy!
Ya probably heard this one...
A burglar broke into this house. He's creeping through the living room and hears "Jesus is watching you." He stopped in his tracks, listening and all was quiet. He crept a little farther and heard again, louder "Jesus is watching you."
Terrified, he freezes and looks all around frantically. Finally, he sees a parrot in a corner.
He asks "Was that you that told me Jesus is watching?" "Yes" said the parrot. Relieved, he asked the parrot "What's your name?" "Clarence" said the parrot.
"That's a stupid name for a parrot! What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said "The same idiot that named the Rottweiller Jesus."
Ya probably heard this one...
A burglar broke into this house. He's creeping through the living room and hears "Jesus is watching you." He stopped in his tracks, listening and all was quiet. He crept a little farther and heard again, louder "Jesus is watching you."
Terrified, he freezes and looks all around frantically. Finally, he sees a parrot in a corner.
He asks "Was that you that told me Jesus is watching?" "Yes" said the parrot. Relieved, he asked the parrot "What's your name?" "Clarence" said the parrot.
"That's a stupid name for a parrot! What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said "The same idiot that named the Rottweiller Jesus."
OK are you going George Carlin on us here Shirley? EDIT: And now you have deleted your reference to that word so now again my post makes no sense! Ninth did it to me yesterday and you today! George Carlin Seven Dirty Words
PLEASE do not click this link if GRAPHIC language offends you! YOU have been warned!
BTW Shirley I believe you already said it!
I liked the joke but where are the blondes. OK Jokes in general now. But I still have some Blonde zingers saved up
Knowing that Miss M sells Harley items she may??? appreciate this one
What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
A: Rebel without a clue.
PLEASE do not click this link if GRAPHIC language offends you! YOU have been warned!
BTW Shirley I believe you already said it!
I liked the joke but where are the blondes. OK Jokes in general now. But I still have some Blonde zingers saved up
Knowing that Miss M sells Harley items she may??? appreciate this one
What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
A: Rebel without a clue.
heh Taz, it's gone.
Back to blonde then. lol And the blonde on the computer leaving rat poison by the mouse.
Back to blonde then. lol And the blonde on the computer leaving rat poison by the mouse.
Alright, I just can't stick to the blonde jokes.
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Doesnt matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Doesnt matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
Alright I will go off the blonde jokes for a bit
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.
So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'
'OK,' says the guy.
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'
The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.
So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'
'OK,' says the guy.
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'
The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'
Hi everybody,
Back only for a few minutes...just had to see how this thread was progressing
Shirley ~~ LOVE the Jesus/Rottweiler joke! I heard that one a couple days ago...reminds me of my own lil' 90 lb. puppy.
As for ninth_wave (where IS he anyway??) I guess...Paul? or Don? No particular reason, I just don't know! C'mon ninth, here we go again!
Back only for a few minutes...just had to see how this thread was progressing
Shirley ~~ LOVE the Jesus/Rottweiler joke! I heard that one a couple days ago...reminds me of my own lil' 90 lb. puppy.
As for ninth_wave (where IS he anyway??) I guess...Paul? or Don? No particular reason, I just don't know! C'mon ninth, here we go again!
Yeah it is Thursday night almost time to go out for a few twist-offs and a couple games of pool!
One more blonde joke and a zinger also before I go!
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
________________________________________________
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... like a telephone... on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
One more blonde joke and a zinger also before I go!
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
________________________________________________
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... like a telephone... on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
Have a great evenin' Taz!
Wonder how many posts are in 7 pages.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari."
Wonder how many posts are in 7 pages.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari."
OK the twist-offs were great the pool was better but I darn sure missed YA'all
A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet and octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus's owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, "Now, if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner comes up and says "What are you messing around for? Hurry up and play the thing!" The octopus says "Play it? If I can work out how to get its pajamas off I'm gonna screw it!"
A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet and octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus's owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, "Now, if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner comes up and says "What are you messing around for? Hurry up and play the thing!" The octopus says "Play it? If I can work out how to get its pajamas off I'm gonna screw it!"
Hey Taz. Twist offs... I like that. lol We missed you too!!!
Oh, forgot to tell you how hard I laughed at that octopus joke. I thought it was gonna be the one with the 'p' word that I wanted to post.
After knowing my computer is okay, I went back to Pete's link (I was avoiding links) to see if it was the same as this (it's not):
The best blonde joke ever!
http://tinyurl.com/9xh45
Oh, forgot to tell you how hard I laughed at that octopus joke. I thought it was gonna be the one with the 'p' word that I wanted to post.
After knowing my computer is okay, I went back to Pete's link (I was avoiding links) to see if it was the same as this (it's not):
The best blonde joke ever!
http://tinyurl.com/9xh45
P word? OK Miss Shirley what PEE word? Oh you mean ya almost Pissed yaself! HMM Where is George Carlin at now?
Actually I do believe that "piss" is ok to use now? However if I have "pissed" any one off by using this word please feel free to tell me and I will "piss" off
Actually I do believe that "piss" is ok to use now? However if I have "pissed" any one off by using this word please feel free to tell me and I will "piss" off
BTW Pete what is up with giving a link to blonde jokes? Do YA think that will cover yer next 50 posts or what?
OMG 1148 hits and only 12 days until next year. Do Y'all think we can keep it alive that long?
I am going to venture a guess that we can have 4,000 hits by 1-1-2008
OMG 1148 hits and only 12 days until next year. Do Y'all think we can keep it alive that long?
I am going to venture a guess that we can have 4,000 hits by 1-1-2008
LOL Taz!
A blonde is driving on the highway. She looks over and sees another blonde in a wheat field, rowing a boat. She stops and gets out of her car and says, "What are you doing out there?"
The blonde in the wheat field replies, "Fishing."
The first blonde says, "It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid. If I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your butt."
A blonde is driving on the highway. She looks over and sees another blonde in a wheat field, rowing a boat. She stops and gets out of her car and says, "What are you doing out there?"
The blonde in the wheat field replies, "Fishing."
The first blonde says, "It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid. If I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your butt."
Wheat field? Why is she rowing in a wheat field? Is that like trying to get rid of a yeast infection? I just do not get it?
OH well I guess that leads into corn-flakes perfectly!
----------------------------------------------------
Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
-----------------------------------------------------
Why not one more before I sign off for the night!
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
OH well I guess that leads into corn-flakes perfectly!
----------------------------------------------------
Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
-----------------------------------------------------
Why not one more before I sign off for the night!
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
Cause wheat's wavy I guess? lol
G'night Taz. To follow your ball deodorant -
Two guys went into a bar and had a few too many beers. One got up and went into the bathroom while the other remained at the bar talking to the bartender.
All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from the bathroom. The drunk at the bar said to the bartender that it sounded like his buddy screaming, so he went into the bathroom to investigate.
He went inside and asked his friend what the problem was. His friend said "Everytime I flush the toilet something reaches up and squeezes my balls." (can I say that? LOL)
His friend shook his head and said, You dumba$$, youre sitting on the mop bucket.
G'night Taz. To follow your ball deodorant -
Two guys went into a bar and had a few too many beers. One got up and went into the bathroom while the other remained at the bar talking to the bartender.
All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from the bathroom. The drunk at the bar said to the bartender that it sounded like his buddy screaming, so he went into the bathroom to investigate.
He went inside and asked his friend what the problem was. His friend said "Everytime I flush the toilet something reaches up and squeezes my balls." (can I say that? LOL)
His friend shook his head and said, You dumba$$, youre sitting on the mop bucket.
OWWW Miss Shirley that is a good one! G-Night have a good one, and see Y'all tomorrow!
LOL @ all the jokes!
So! It's Susanne? Hmmm, nice, it goes with the eyes! Hey, how you doin'?
Don't know about having a life, but need to spend time with my boy before stuffing him into bed at night, then need to spend time with OH before stuffing her into bed at night, by then too knackered to come back on here! I need my beauty sleep (boy, do I need it!)
I reckon ninth is a surfer dude (ninth wave, and the avatar), so what is a good cool surfer dude name guys? C'mon, you will all know these better than me. Wayne? Clint? Rock?
So! It's Susanne? Hmmm, nice, it goes with the eyes! Hey, how you doin'?
Don't know about having a life, but need to spend time with my boy before stuffing him into bed at night, then need to spend time with OH before stuffing her into bed at night, by then too knackered to come back on here! I need my beauty sleep (boy, do I need it!)
I reckon ninth is a surfer dude (ninth wave, and the avatar), so what is a good cool surfer dude name guys? C'mon, you will all know these better than me. Wayne? Clint? Rock?
ROCK??????????????
OMG where's my kleenex....LMAO!!!!
Ninth's gonna LOVE that one...where IS the dude anyway???
OMG where's my kleenex....LMAO!!!!
Ninth's gonna LOVE that one...where IS the dude anyway???
I've been wondering where he is too.
I guessed Aaron. I'll add
Joel?
Greg?
Eddie?
How about Brock instead of Rock? LOL
I guessed Aaron. I'll add
Joel?
Greg?
Eddie?
How about Brock instead of Rock? LOL
OK I am still here! I saw Pete join the fun so I could not resist watching the thread!
Now here is an EVIL SANTA!
BTW Pete those names sound so bizzare!
Now here is an EVIL SANTA!
BTW Pete those names sound so bizzare!
OMG Taz! That's hilarious!!!
I guessed Paul & another name I can't remember now.
Phil?
Don?
Rick?
Come out & play ninth ~ We promise, NO whackin
Phil?
Don?
Rick?
Come out & play ninth ~ We promise, NO whackin
Steve, sorry, you're right, I was trying to cut corners there!
here's one for you all (no animals were harmed in the making of this joke):
A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey and ordered a drink. While he was drinking,the monkey jumped all around the place. It grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them, then grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. It jumped onto the pool table, took one of the billiard balls, stuck it in his mouth, and, to everyone's amazement, somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy replied, "No, what?"
"He just ate a billiard ball off my pool table...whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything
in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finished his drink, paid his bar bill along with the stuff the monkey ate, and walked out.
Two weeks later, he came into the bar again along with his pet monkey. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar as before. While the man was finishing his drink, the monkey found a Maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then he found a peanut. This, too, he stuck up his butt, pulled it out and ate it.
The bartender was disgusted "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asked.
"No, what?" replied the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate
it. The same with a peanut!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." said the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
measures everything first."
here's one for you all (no animals were harmed in the making of this joke):
A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey and ordered a drink. While he was drinking,the monkey jumped all around the place. It grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them, then grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. It jumped onto the pool table, took one of the billiard balls, stuck it in his mouth, and, to everyone's amazement, somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy replied, "No, what?"
"He just ate a billiard ball off my pool table...whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything
in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finished his drink, paid his bar bill along with the stuff the monkey ate, and walked out.
Two weeks later, he came into the bar again along with his pet monkey. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar as before. While the man was finishing his drink, the monkey found a Maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then he found a peanut. This, too, he stuck up his butt, pulled it out and ate it.
The bartender was disgusted "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asked.
"No, what?" replied the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate
it. The same with a peanut!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." said the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
measures everything first."
You may be right though Pete with the surfer thing. the Ninth Wave is the most powerful combination of sea and wind. I suppose that is a surfers paradise?
However I believe Reno is a bit out of the way for surfing? I am guessing Johnathan!
However I believe Reno is a bit out of the way for surfing? I am guessing Johnathan!
Pete! I can just see that!
I guess they'd tell us if it's not okay that we're not G rated. lol
A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I cant give you cyanide to kill your husband! Thats against the law. I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacists wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
I guess they'd tell us if it's not okay that we're not G rated. lol
A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I cant give you cyanide to kill your husband! Thats against the law. I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacists wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Dang the torpedoes and full speed ahead with the OFF Color jokes
______________________________________________________
A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.
His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.
Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."
"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."
Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at werk to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived home.
"Be prepared, my darling. I'm going to ravish you," she cooed over the phone.
Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor's advice. But where? In the office? The Xerox room? What if someone walked in on him?
He got in his truck and began the journey home. Soon he decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb underneath the truck and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there.
A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the truck, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young wife, and began his "therapy".
A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pants leg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, "Yes?"
"Sir, I'm with the Police Department. Could you tell me what you are doing, please?" said the officer.
"Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my truck's rear axle," he replied confidently.
"Well, why don't you check the brakes while you're down there. Your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."
______________________________________________________
A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.
His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.
Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."
"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."
Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at werk to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived home.
"Be prepared, my darling. I'm going to ravish you," she cooed over the phone.
Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor's advice. But where? In the office? The Xerox room? What if someone walked in on him?
He got in his truck and began the journey home. Soon he decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb underneath the truck and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there.
A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the truck, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young wife, and began his "therapy".
A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pants leg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, "Yes?"
"Sir, I'm with the Police Department. Could you tell me what you are doing, please?" said the officer.
"Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my truck's rear axle," he replied confidently.
"Well, why don't you check the brakes while you're down there. Your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."
LOL Shirley!
Thank God I didn't put away the kleenex yet
Edit--you too Taz (and as usual, typing at the same time I am)
Thank God I didn't put away the kleenex yet
Edit--you too Taz (and as usual, typing at the same time I am)
And to think I was going to bed and getting ready to miss all the fun!
8 pages and 1234 hits so far!
8 pages and 1234 hits so far!
Alright we gotta get the lawyers again!
_____________________________________________________________
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband 2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband 3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband 4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband 5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband 6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband 7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband 8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband 9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband 10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
_____________________________________________________________
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband 2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband 3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband 4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband 5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband 6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband 7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband 8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband 9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband 10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
I have tears streaming down my face here!
OK, I have one I want to post, but I'm not sure - it might be deemed politically incorrect......... decisions decisions....
OK, I have one I want to post, but I'm not sure - it might be deemed politically incorrect......... decisions decisions....
Come on Pete Ya always have the delete post tab. Lord knows I have been victimized enough by it in the last two days!
TY Shirley and Ninth Wave
TY Shirley and Ninth Wave
OK Pete I will break the politically correct barrier!
_____________________________________________________________
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line.
Just one lady in front of me. . .an Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . .
She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat
dollar fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"
_____________________________________________________________
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line.
Just one lady in front of me. . .an Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . .
She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat
dollar fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"
OMG my ribs hurt! MM, I keep my kleenex right here. Good thing too.
YVW Taz. I thought of Ninth when I did that. LOL
C'mon Pete. Tell us! Tell us!! I'll loan ya my sunglasses and you can post incognito. lol
YVW Taz. I thought of Ninth when I did that. LOL
C'mon Pete. Tell us! Tell us!! I'll loan ya my sunglasses and you can post incognito. lol
ROFLMAO @ that one Taz!
OK, hang on, it's coming, I have to type it out........
OK, hang on, it's coming, I have to type it out........
While we wait for Pete I will post this SUPPOSEDLY true story!
___________________________________________________
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wilmington Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. He just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Dang... is it midnight already?"
___________________________________________________
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wilmington Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. He just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Dang... is it midnight already?"
Well, I hope this one's okay. Are we aiming for them to give us that "private" board?
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn’t want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman’s husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That’s nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ’From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!’
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn’t want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman’s husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That’s nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ’From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!’
OMG Shirley!
OK we now know that Pete is a Hunt and Peck typist!
OK you lot, you need to build the picture in your heads.....
Harold Smith marries Minnie, and they set off for their honeymoon. Harold unfortunately has a pronounced stutter, and Minnie has something of a nervous twitch, which gets worse when she is excited.
They arrive at their hotel, and proceed to Check In.
'H-H-H-Hello' says Harold, 'w-w-w-we have booked the H-H-H-Honeymoon Suite. I am M-M-M-Mr Smith, and this is M-M-M-Mrs Smith'.
'Welcome' says the clerk, 'and may I offer our congratulations, and wishes that your stay be a happy one? Geoffrey! Please take Mr & Mrs Smith up to the Honeymoon Suite'.
And off they all go.
15 minutes later, the clerk is puzzled that Geoffrey has not re-appeared. 'John! Go up to the Honeymoon Suite, and see what is keeping Geoffrey please'.
And away goes John.
15 minutes later, the clerk is even more puzzled that neither Geoffrey or John have re-appeared. 'Robert! Go up to the Honeymoon Suite, and see what is keeping Geoffrey and John please'.
And away goes Robert.
15 minutes later, the clerk is seriously annoyed that none of the porters have re-appeared. 'What the hell is going on here?' he mutters to himself, 'I'll go up myself!'
The clerk knocks on the door of the Honeymoon Suite. harold answers the door, 'T-T-Thank G-God you're h-h-here' he says, 'c-c-c-come in quick!' Fearing the worst, the clerk rushes in.
There on the bed is Minnie, spreadeagled, stark naked. Geoffrey has one arm pinned down. Likewise, John has the other arm pinned down. Robert has one leg pinned down. The men are sweating profusely, this is hard work!
The other, unfettered leg, is thrashing about wildly, as is Minnie's head.
'Oh my God!' yells the clerk, 'is she having a fit?'
'N-N-N-Never m-m-m-mind t-t-that!' screams Harold, 'g-g-g-grab that leg and p-p-p-pin her d-d-down!'
The clerk does as he is bidden, unsure what is going to happen. He turns to look at Harold, who is now tearing his own clothes off.
Harold leaps on top of Minnie, grabs a firm hold (of what you can make your own minds up), and screams.......
'W-W-W-Whoopee, l-l-l-let h-her g-g-g-go!'
Harold Smith marries Minnie, and they set off for their honeymoon. Harold unfortunately has a pronounced stutter, and Minnie has something of a nervous twitch, which gets worse when she is excited.
They arrive at their hotel, and proceed to Check In.
'H-H-H-Hello' says Harold, 'w-w-w-we have booked the H-H-H-Honeymoon Suite. I am M-M-M-Mr Smith, and this is M-M-M-Mrs Smith'.
'Welcome' says the clerk, 'and may I offer our congratulations, and wishes that your stay be a happy one? Geoffrey! Please take Mr & Mrs Smith up to the Honeymoon Suite'.
And off they all go.
15 minutes later, the clerk is puzzled that Geoffrey has not re-appeared. 'John! Go up to the Honeymoon Suite, and see what is keeping Geoffrey please'.
And away goes John.
15 minutes later, the clerk is even more puzzled that neither Geoffrey or John have re-appeared. 'Robert! Go up to the Honeymoon Suite, and see what is keeping Geoffrey and John please'.
And away goes Robert.
15 minutes later, the clerk is seriously annoyed that none of the porters have re-appeared. 'What the hell is going on here?' he mutters to himself, 'I'll go up myself!'
The clerk knocks on the door of the Honeymoon Suite. harold answers the door, 'T-T-Thank G-God you're h-h-here' he says, 'c-c-c-come in quick!' Fearing the worst, the clerk rushes in.
There on the bed is Minnie, spreadeagled, stark naked. Geoffrey has one arm pinned down. Likewise, John has the other arm pinned down. Robert has one leg pinned down. The men are sweating profusely, this is hard work!
The other, unfettered leg, is thrashing about wildly, as is Minnie's head.
'Oh my God!' yells the clerk, 'is she having a fit?'
'N-N-N-Never m-m-m-mind t-t-that!' screams Harold, 'g-g-g-grab that leg and p-p-p-pin her d-d-down!'
The clerk does as he is bidden, unsure what is going to happen. He turns to look at Harold, who is now tearing his own clothes off.
Harold leaps on top of Minnie, grabs a firm hold (of what you can make your own minds up), and screams.......
'W-W-W-Whoopee, l-l-l-let h-her g-g-g-go!'
Hey Taz, it was a lot of typing, OK?
Editing cause it made no sense. lol
Pete, NOW I need Taz's little rotflmao smileys! And I just thought my ribs hurt before. The dogs think I'm crazy. LOL
Pete, NOW I need Taz's little rotflmao smileys! And I just thought my ribs hurt before. The dogs think I'm crazy. LOL
Well alrighty then Pete as long as you took I was sure you were a Hunt and Pecker. But the joke was worth the wait! I must sign off now for sure 4 AM is rather late for me when I need to be up at 7 AM!
Night All. Have fun!
Night All. Have fun!
G'night Taz. Sweet dreams. Thanks for all the laughs!!!
One more.
I'll say g'night now Pete and hope you have a great day!
Hi to Ninth if ya stop by.
One day a Pirate and a bartender were talking to each other in a bar. The Bartender asked the pirate "Where did ya get that peg leg from?"
The Pirate responded "We were sailing the seas when a big ol' shark came up to me while I was swimmin' and bit off me leg."
Later the Bartender asked "Where did you get that hook then?"
The pirate responded "Well, me crew and I were in a battle and it got cut through the bone."
The bartender then asked "Then where did ya get the eye patch from?"
The pirate said "In a harbor, I looked at a gull flying over head and it took a dump right in me eye."
The bartender was puzzled and asked the pirate, "How would that make you get an eye patch?"
The pirate responded, "First day with the hook."
I'll say g'night now Pete and hope you have a great day!
Hi to Ninth if ya stop by.
One day a Pirate and a bartender were talking to each other in a bar. The Bartender asked the pirate "Where did ya get that peg leg from?"
The Pirate responded "We were sailing the seas when a big ol' shark came up to me while I was swimmin' and bit off me leg."
Later the Bartender asked "Where did you get that hook then?"
The pirate responded "Well, me crew and I were in a battle and it got cut through the bone."
The bartender then asked "Then where did ya get the eye patch from?"
The pirate said "In a harbor, I looked at a gull flying over head and it took a dump right in me eye."
The bartender was puzzled and asked the pirate, "How would that make you get an eye patch?"
The pirate responded, "First day with the hook."
G'night you lot, chat later!
Good morning fellow Auctiva folks. *hug*
Hi Shirley, had a nice kip?
Hi Pete. I did, thank you.
How's your day?
How's your day?
OK so far Shirley, no nasty big issues at work today (touch wood) for a change.
(touch wood) I Knock on Wood.
Glad no nasty issues have reared their ugly heads for you today. It's Friday (or is it Thursday there? Surely not Saturday! Always confuses me ). Everyone deserves a happy Friday, even if they've been baaad! lol
Glad no nasty issues have reared their ugly heads for you today. It's Friday (or is it Thursday there? Surely not Saturday! Always confuses me ). Everyone deserves a happy Friday, even if they've been baaad! lol
Looks like Miss S and I are on the same schedule (again)
You probably have a giant coffee in hand too, just like I do!
I hope I have a happy Friday, since I have to go back to work tomorrow and Sunday but at least I'm off Christmas Eve and Day. As I said somewhere else, I'm glad I've been off this past week so I could participate in this foolishness
You probably have a giant coffee in hand too, just like I do!
I hope I have a happy Friday, since I have to go back to work tomorrow and Sunday but at least I'm off Christmas Eve and Day. As I said somewhere else, I'm glad I've been off this past week so I could participate in this foolishness
Hello All. Still no Ninth I see? Hmmm he starts us up and then leaves us to fend for ourselves. I think we are doing quite well though!
Shirley, you soppy wotsit, we're only 5 hours ahead, we're not on the other side of the world!
I've just logged off from work, so assuming nothing brown and nasty hits the fan, I'm done for the weekend
Have we discovered ninth's real name yet? Kirk? Rod? ......
I've just logged off from work, so assuming nothing brown and nasty hits the fan, I'm done for the weekend
Have we discovered ninth's real name yet? Kirk? Rod? ......
lol Pete, what's a soppy wotsit? It sounds... mmm... something. I told you it confuses me. LOL
Hi Miss M and Taz.
Oh, Miss M, yes, big mug o' coffee.
Where ARE You Ninth?
Hi Miss M and Taz.
Oh, Miss M, yes, big mug o' coffee.
Where ARE You Ninth?
See what I mean about the way Brits talk?? (BIG smile) Dontcha love it? I'm always watching the BBC network here, 'Couplings' (talk about laugh til you cry!) and the all time favorite Dr Who.
Hi Pete
Hi Pete
ha I Do love it! I just don't know what that means? Are you pickin' on me Pete?
A 'soppy wotsit' is actually one of the most deliciously beautiful womon on the planet Shirley
Aha, I see our other soppy wotsit has also surfaced! Hi Susanne
No Steve yet? Don't worry, I won't call him a soppy wotsit
Aha, I see our other soppy wotsit has also surfaced! Hi Susanne
No Steve yet? Don't worry, I won't call him a soppy wotsit
gmta Pete
soppy wotsit def... sounds... um, delciious? TYVM
soppy wotsit def... sounds... um, delciious? TYVM
quote:A 'soppy wotsit' is actually one of the most deliciously beautiful womon on the planet Shirley
Um....I think Pete is "full of old tosh"
quote:full of old tosh
It even 'sounds' like HOGWASH
I've always liked that "hogwash" and instead of BS, it's HorseS... lol and I like that we can edit our posts. *snicker*
You don't believe me???
I'm hurt
What does gmta mean anyway?
I'm hurt
What does gmta mean anyway?
Wadda Ya mean Pete?
You just have soopy wotsits on the brain
I posted 25 minutes before this post!Just because I went out for a few shants and scoops last night does not mean I am among the missing today!quote:No Steve yet?
You just have soopy wotsits on the brain
gmta = Great Minds Think Alike - our posts were at the same time.
OMG Pete GMTA = Gonna Murder Them All! See what yeave done . Yeave gone and riled the Dark Side Babes now no-one is safe!
EDIT:
EDIT:
Likely story Miss S!quote:gmta = Great Minds Think Alike - our posts were at the same time
heh I should've said "I'd tell ya but then I'd hafta kill ya!" lol yep, riled us up alright!
Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything.
What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullsh*t with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless,
Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore!
You're a United States Senator from New York, running for President of the United States. Act like it!
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything.
What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullsh*t with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless,
Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore!
You're a United States Senator from New York, running for President of the United States. Act like it!
Shirley here is a suggestion for a new product line. You could sell them as redneck peanut smugglers!
OMG Taz
I was so wishing I'd have invented the toe sock undies thingies... can't remember what they're called. lol
Here's one and I gotta go to the store. Gotta stock up. Blizzard's a comin'! Gonna get that snow! Woohoo!
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, Whats with that guy over there by the wall?
The clerk says, Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldnt find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.
The owner says, You idiot You cant treat a cough with laxatives
The clerk says, Oh yeah? Look at him, hes afraid to cough
I was so wishing I'd have invented the toe sock undies thingies... can't remember what they're called. lol
Here's one and I gotta go to the store. Gotta stock up. Blizzard's a comin'! Gonna get that snow! Woohoo!
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, Whats with that guy over there by the wall?
The clerk says, Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldnt find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.
The owner says, You idiot You cant treat a cough with laxatives
The clerk says, Oh yeah? Look at him, hes afraid to cough
That is classic Shirley! I love it! But I must confess you have intrigued me with
EDIT:OK Shirley Blizzard? Snow accumulations of 1 inch in Amarillo may be a blizzard to you but that is not even snow tire weather here!
Hey we did say we would send Ya snow to make snowballs!
Please don,t let us hanging find out what they are called and show us picturesquote:the toe sock undies thingies
EDIT:OK Shirley Blizzard? Snow accumulations of 1 inch in Amarillo may be a blizzard to you but that is not even snow tire weather here!
Hey we did say we would send Ya snow to make snowballs!
Sorry Steve, I must be going senile mate!
Good joke Shirley, I like it!
OK folks, OH is not too well, so I have to sort little son out, so knocking off now, and will chat again at some point over the weekend, I'm sure.
Good joke Shirley, I like it!
OK folks, OH is not too well, so I have to sort little son out, so knocking off now, and will chat again at some point over the weekend, I'm sure.
Ok Taz. I don't want to hotlink, so here's a link. I guess that would be more of a design than an invention. lol They're from Capezio and they're foot undeez. Cool, huh?
http://www.discountdance.com/image/419x450/h07.jpg
http://www.discountdance.com/image/419x450/h07.jpg
Take care Pete. Ya'll have a happy day! ttyl
EDIT: No Taz, that's not what they're saying here. lol It was suppose to be 2-3 inches is all. That changed this morning. You can look at the sky and tell too.
Edit-edit: Of course, that could change on a moment's notice and totally miss us. If ya don't like the weather... well, ya know.
EDIT: No Taz, that's not what they're saying here. lol It was suppose to be 2-3 inches is all. That changed this morning. You can look at the sky and tell too.
Edit-edit: Of course, that could change on a moment's notice and totally miss us. If ya don't like the weather... well, ya know.
OK not what I was thinking. I was thinking of underwear made from socks.
However I must admit to enjoying a well manicured ladies foot even if it is wearing toe undies
However I must admit to enjoying a well manicured ladies foot even if it is wearing toe undies
Alright, took me a minute to reverse that visual. Those are just so cute and fun.
Did you see my edit and edit-edit? lol
Did you see my edit and edit-edit? lol
Yes I saw the edits. Glad you are getting your snow you wanted. But all you have to do is get a BIG truck and come here to the mountains of PA and you can have all the free snow you want, I will not complain.
But please bring us some warm weather and sunshine!
Getting ready to go do some last minute Christmas shopping here. Have fun!
But please bring us some warm weather and sunshine!
Getting ready to go do some last minute Christmas shopping here. Have fun!
Have you been good boys and girls?
Well HAVE you, you little CREEPS!!?
Well HAVE you, you little CREEPS!!?
WELL
Looky who finally put in an appearance!!!!
How ya be ninth? LOVE the pic!!
Have you been reading this thread? You do know we're trying to guess your name now right? Let us know if any of us got it yet
(Boy they guessed mine after only a couple tries but I did give a huge hint)
Looky who finally put in an appearance!!!!
How ya be ninth? LOVE the pic!!
Have you been reading this thread? You do know we're trying to guess your name now right? Let us know if any of us got it yet
(Boy they guessed mine after only a couple tries but I did give a huge hint)
I be fine. Of course I've been reading this thread. How could I not? New name: Auctiva Asylum. Susanne is a great name by the way. My name? Hah! GOOD LUCK.
The gift that keeps on giving, Ho! Ho! Ho!
The gift that keeps on giving, Ho! Ho! Ho!
Hey Ninth! Happy to see you here.
Auctiva Asylum - that's great!!! When do we get it? lol
Any hints for your name? How about George for which way did he go George, or George of the jungle, or hug you and squeeze you and call you George.
Taz, you're right. Somebody was playing a mean joke on me and I didn't look it up. Like that's so hard to do. lol Takes long enough to get shipping labels done - eBay's back to it's old shenanigans of the last coupla days. And I gotta have time to hang out here. Anyway I just didn't wanna know, I guess. It looks like the way to get the snow I want is gonna be to head that way with a truck.
Auctiva Asylum - that's great!!! When do we get it? lol
Any hints for your name? How about George for which way did he go George, or George of the jungle, or hug you and squeeze you and call you George.
Taz, you're right. Somebody was playing a mean joke on me and I didn't look it up. Like that's so hard to do. lol Takes long enough to get shipping labels done - eBay's back to it's old shenanigans of the last coupla days. And I gotta have time to hang out here. Anyway I just didn't wanna know, I guess. It looks like the way to get the snow I want is gonna be to head that way with a truck.
Woa, I didn't like that 'GOOD LUCK' with guessing your name..... Will it be that difficult? Time for a hint, c'mon now, I gave a BIG hint for mine....We know, you just want to remain mysterious.
Yep this is definitely Auctiva Asylum' now! I keep waiting for this thread to get pulled (like Ebay would do..God forbid you have any fun over there) but I don't know for what reason I guess extreme silliness, especially at this time of year isn't against the rules
C'mon...HINT please??
EDIT---As if your flashing Santa isn't funny enough, check out the look on the woman's face on the far right...Priceless!!!!!!
Yep this is definitely Auctiva Asylum' now! I keep waiting for this thread to get pulled (like Ebay would do..God forbid you have any fun over there) but I don't know for what reason I guess extreme silliness, especially at this time of year isn't against the rules
C'mon...HINT please??
EDIT---As if your flashing Santa isn't funny enough, check out the look on the woman's face on the far right...Priceless!!!!!!
Add Reply
Sign In To Reply