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Hi Shirley welcome back.
I was searching for good eBay jokes but could only find this. I am only providing a link as I think it would push the posting limits of Auctiva? http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/408.html

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A man went to a bird auction one day. While there, he placed a bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Oh, do not worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
Miss M - I stand corrected on the 'y' thing, and I'm sure we can think of something for Pete. (something he'll really love us for)

Miss S -
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edit/edit "(if you count a lucky blast from a double-barrel shotgun blind-folded as pinpoint accuracy)." LOLOL You're funny!!!


Thought you might appreciate that, Miss "Shoots like a guy" Shirley.

"embarrassing" is what you get for being a tomboy miss spider girl.

Don't know where that Choo guy is, probably lurking about somewhere.
Off Topic. But this whole thread is off topic. Or maybe not. lol

I don't know how I got stuck in their stupid playground. It wasn't by choice and this is the third day of frustration and it's even worse today. It kicked me back in this morning. And I can't get out. Frown

Yes, I'd say avoid it at all costs. I like playgrounds. NOT this one though. Big Grin
Ms S..I guess clearing cookies & cache doesn't work for you? (I'm sure you've done that) That was the only thing to get me out of their stupid 'search' test..

Sid--"I'm sure we can think of something for Pete. (something he'll really love us for)"

That opens up a whole realm of possibilities that I'm sure he WON'T love us for Big Grin

Any ideas Miss S? The Darkside Babes should be able to come up with something..

Oh Shirley, BTW..Ebay is all screwed up today. All my sold items are gone (there were about 66 of them) and thank God only one person hasn't paid yet but when I click on 'Waiting for payment for 1 item 'link I get nada...I have to do an advanced search on myself just to get the info for that buyer, gotta send a second invoice. I sure hope it comes back soon. I think you & I are both caught in the middle of the glitches Frown

WoW--1982 views so far!
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I just got done. I started to put the details here but I think I'll go to the other thread. No, none of these worked. Pete, my sentiments about naming it the "playground" are over there. grrr

Thank ya'll! I need all the moral support I can get right now. I could just cry cause I literally can't do anything on there without walking away to let it load. I can't even come here cause I can still see it. lol So I'm gonna laugh about it! Don't wanna cry. Confused

An S name for Pete... hmmm That'll distract me. Good.
Well Miss M, I posted a long ole post explaining it on that other thread. There truly is no link, anywhere. Frown There should be one that lets me return to regular ebay.

Thankyou. It'll work out. I'm a patient person, though too much longer and I'm gonna be asking for part of my monthly fees back. Wink

Now, back to fun! I don't mean to drag this FUN thread down!

Ohhhhh Niiinth, won't you come into my parlor???
Your parlor, or your "playground", locked in without a key. I read your other post, what a nightmare. I wonder how many other users this is happening to. If it locks on to an IP address, you can't be the only one.

Anyway your "parlor" sounds very dangerous, and extremely, how shall I say, 'compelling'. Your pic is way so hypnotizing. Whoo! Whoo! "You're under my spell, you'll do what I say." (Some tomboy!) Wink
Wow! You folks have been busy while I was gone! Big Grin Next stop, 2,500 views!

Hey Sid, nice to meet you!

Shirley, sorry to hear about your woes, I hope it's all sorted for you now? Frown

I read all the posts, hoping you would come up with a fitting 'S' name for me, like Sexy Pete, or Suave pete, or Super Pete. What did I get? Saint Pete Roll Eyes Not sure I've ever done anything saintly! Big Grin

OK, off again now, not sure if I'll be back on over the weekend, but I'll try. See y'all!
Alright I kind of caught up on this thread, however it does appear a few posts were deleted? I suppose to keep this at a PG-13 level?
Y'all were certainly busy last night while I was out socializing!
Evidently you guys were thread jumping last night so I guess I will have to read the boards?
Still at a loss for the "eBay playground"
Sorry for the Saint Peter, Pete but I went with my first thought!
Pete 'minx' is kind of funny too!
Nah, in these parts (at least my part) Slick can have any connotation you want it to....depending on the tone of voice.
I meant it in the best possible way (fingers crossed behind my back) Big Grin
You can flirt with me all you want but I won't be back here til late tonite..got work today.
Hi Taz...TTY all later Smile

1 more edit--sorry to hear the little one isn't feeling good either..that means you're probably next Frown
Oh no! It's been almost 8 hours since this thread's been posted to. We can't have that! Eek

Yes, Taz, this is the one and same playground giving me all the grief. I can get in a little faster, which sure isn't saying much. lol I had a long ole run-on sentence that got deleted on here about it. I think I hit the mousepad somehow and it does that. Confused Maybe later I'll do it again.

Sue, I hope your first day back went well and you had a fun happy day at work! Wink

Pete, I haven't thought of what I want to suggest yet. Are we in a hurry or do I have more time to keep thinking about it? Smile
Meant to ask how's your OH and son? Sending positive thoughts. Hope they're weell fast!

Ninth, can you come out and play? Betcha can't find me! Cool
Poor Miss M left out in the cold! Sorry I was out for scoops and shants again tonight. The pool table was cold and the Fiancee even more so!
Oh well I have always been one to forge my own path!
Tis a shame but we have agreed and it does not suit us anymore! Frown Frown
Ex-hubby and kids I cannot compete, but on the bright side it means the second job is done!
Merry Christmas All and Happier Days in the New Year!
Edit: OMG Miss S way to go! That is a great Christmas present/surprise! Hope your good fortune continues into the next year!
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My Mom(in law) said she threw a bunch away. She didn't take me seriously until I called her tonight and had her look. She about flipped! Darn, wish I could've seen her face! Big Grin

I still haven't thought of Pete's 'S' name. I like Sexy Pete. I like that word though, so I would. lol I dunno. I just figure it'll come to me... in a dream or something. Big Grin
Yeh, my oldest daughter's been having to deal with a virus going through their family all last week. Today's her first time out in a long time. They had a Christmas party tonight they went to without the kids. Yeah for her! I hate hearing about anyone sick during any holiday, especially now.

I'm glad you told me about it being slow posting. I thought maybe it's my computer and not just eBay's doings about the slow over there thing. lol

adding... about Mom, she said she has a 20s dress that was her Mom's when she was a teenager. She took it apart at the waist but it can easily be reattached and I can have it to fix it and sell if I want. It's black crushed velvet. Can't wait to see it. I'll be nervous about fixing it and may just have it professionally done instead of tackling it myself.

I sure am rambling on. lol
Can't believe nobody's around but us...It was kinda warm today (never a good sign in Chicago in Dec) so now we're having high winds and I think it's supposed to get real cold & dump alot of snow tomorrow..hate driving in that carp. So come on over & we'll have our snowball fight Smile
Normally hubby would be out on the bike with his buddies, even in the winter, but not tonite! Wish I lived somewhere warm Smile
Yeh, it's been really quiet here tonight. I'm glad the guys popped in to help me celebrate a little. lol
[edit] Oh, I meant to say about when you popped in from work. That is soooo sweet you did that! Thank you!

I think we get all kinds of weather here. We even have earthquakes sometimes. Thankfully I've never known it. I think that and hurricanes would be one of the scariest things ever. Tornadoes are aplenty here though.

The wind picked up a little while ago. It was bitter cold this morning with the North wind. Then it got nice and calm for the afternoon.

I love riding in the cold, getting all leathered up. I just love winter and layering with long johns and bundling up. I know... wierd. Big Grin
I know what you mean! I keep stuff forEVER and have finally stopped doing that. Now I wish I had all my clothes from my teen years and twenties! And my Mom's stuff. I'd be keeping that and wearing it myself though. lol
I just love all things vintage.

I can sew but it's been awhile and am just getting it all set back up (fairly recent move). I'd just feel better about having someone else do it though. Cooking.... love to. I'll cook while I'm there for our snowball fight. Smile
Hey all. Scoops are pints of beer and shants are alcoholic drinks. But I am sure Pete is familiar with the terms?
TY for the kind words/ hugs about EX-fiancee (Almost feels good to say that!)
Everyone hits rough patches and this is but a bump in the road.
Her kids (all 5!) were major PITAs and I do like kids but they could be monsters.
Told mom and her response was "It's about time" LOL
Well I am off to go do some shopping. and take my mind off things.
Shopping ALWAYS helps!
back from shopping. Bought all kinds of CRAP I did not need but fell better!
Actually picked those drinking terms up from a fellow from South Wales that was here a few months ago that I met in my local hangout. A friend of mine owns a biker bar a few blocks from me.
I will have to post a pic of the tap system he has on here sometime for y'all to see. It is a Harley motor converted over to a 4 tap system. Pretty cool looking.
Anyway my area has a big railroading background and we get tourists from all over the world, and alot of times they pop into Magoo's ( My buddies nickname and the name of the pub.)
Little known fact during WWW II a couple of Nazis were picked up in Florida on there way here to blow up the Horseshoe Curve which is about 10 miles from me. I am actually located in a little town called Cresson which is the Birthplace of Admiral Peary who was the first person to reach the North Pole(besides Evil Santa of course!)
But enough of history!

How about a good joke?
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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is."

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Lawyers...You gotta love 'em.
Taz, you Are a Saint... a guy that loves shopping! Isn't that pretty much unheard of? lol Big Grin

A few things to ponder...

Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my names Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Yeah I feel I am the perfect catch, Shirley! I like shopping going to yard sales, flea marketing etc. Heck if I go to the grocery store and skip an aisle I feel as though I missed something!
Well I am about to embark on an important shopping trip again! Gotta get out and start me some woman shopping.I do believe this time though I may stick to looking for a woman with less baggage. Hmm maybe I will auction myself off on eBay? Slightly used male enjoys shopping, quite walks etc.... LMAO
My 23 year old daughter actually told me she has a couple of friends that think I am date worthy. Is that the words I want?
I like the things to ponder Shirley.
Really glad we "heckled" Ninth into this post, it is a good diversion.
Thanks for being such a good sport Ninth almost forgot Syd or was it Sid?
Hey good buddies, I just got back from the yearly madhouse at the mall. Nearly got trampled to death, what with all the big spenders. It looks like I'm going to have to ramp up my ebay sales just to break even. I'm afraid shopping isn't really much of a pleasure for me. Maybe if I had more $$$! But when you don't have enough it's torture. Well Christmas shopping is over and it's time for that beer Miss Shirley. Magoo's sounds like the happenin' place to kick back, right Taz? Oh, and it's 'Sid'. Anyway Taz, sorry to hear your tale of woe, but speaking as an outsider looking in, that did sound like an awful lot of baggage, maybe you were 'saved' from a real close call.(I like to think positively.)Anyway metaphorically speaking, now the decks are cleared for action - time to rock n roll.
Thanks Ninth yeah Magoo,s is a pretty cool place they get some good people and good bands. I actually help out there every once in awhile. I use to cook there but other projects took me away.

Trying to locate a band or DJ to book for New Year's Eve right now for there.

Thanks for the words on the EX-fiancee I am actually feeling pretty good about it right now. I was seeing the signs a few months ago and was getting prepped for it.
I like your thinking Ninth
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now the decks are cleared for action - time to rock n roll.
One of my favorite sayings is "Time to Turn N Burn" from Top Gun. Yeah I am sappy too, really enjoying the theme song by Kenny Loggins "Danger Zone" and Berlin "Take my Breath Away"
'Take my Breath Away' is one of the best songs of all time! The Top Gun scenes accompanying it are not too shabby either.

edit: "I was seeing the signs a few months ago and was getting prepped for it."

Definitely sounds like it wasn't meant to be. And if it wasn't meant to be, then you were definitely SAVED - no other way to look at it. Rejoice at your good fortune, and have another brew!
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Heck if I go to the grocery store and skip an aisle I feel as though I missed something!
Big Grin

I bet you like to cook too, Taz! Don't forget to include that in your auction. Aren't the rules pretty much that you have to have something tangible? So there ya go! O'course, you'd have to screen your bidders very, very carefully! lol I'd make it a private auction too. Wink And we could all put you on our watch list... maybe all the readers would put you on theirs too and get you on the ebay's Pulse page. What fun!! Big Grin

Now, seriously, I agree with what Ninth says about being 'saved'. Your daughter being 23, she may not want to babysit for you and with 5 pita's, you'd certainly need a regular sitter. Wink If mom's letting them get away with things they shouldn't be doing, it'd be up to you, the responsible parent, to get them straightened out... IF she would allow it.

Think how peaceful your Life will be now! See ya'll at Magoo's! I'm ready. Smile

If Ninth were on the other side of the poll, Syd would be right. lol Ninth, would that make you the spider too? Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin

Top Gun... I love that movie! You guys sure have good taste!

I don't envy anyone spending time at the mall. lol Miss M, you and I really do have a lot in common, don't we? I'm happy to have met you and all you guys!
ehh, all mushy now! Wink
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I bet you like to cook too, Taz!
I guess you missed my post about Rudolph being missing and making Deer Jerky!
Yes I am quite the cook if I do say so myself!
I have worked in several upscale restaurants in my area. Italian food is a specialty of mine.
Yes grocery shopping Miss M! I spent 20 bucks today on the gourmet olive bar!
As promised photos of the tap system at Magoo's!
LOL Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin
I posted and this HUGE picture starts loading at the same time. Wow! Taz! That's some setup.

I didn't miss the beef jerky and even commented on it. lol I just forgot. *snicker* Yum! Italian! That's a favorite.

Sexy St. Pete, I like that! lol I'd rather think he's out buying our gifts than being sick. Smile

Ninth has mesmerized me. Not sure I have a chance. Roll Eyes lol
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Taz, are you at Magoo's? Be sure to have a beer for all of us.
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Of course, I know he can't answer me silly. He can feel we're here talking to him though. Smile See? Here he is now. LOL

I knew there was a reason my ears were burning!
BTW The pictures were taken with my new purchase today a 10.1 Mega Pixel Samsung with a 10 x zoom.
It is sweet!
Fast approaching 3,000 hits here and over 19 pages! Hmm when do ya think Auctiva will step in and post to us!
But we are having SO MUCH FUN! Well this is the forum for off topic! We are definitely off topic and quite possibly 1 or 2 of us is off our rockers! Big Grin Big Grin
Edit: I could not pass the camera up! Last years model , clearance priced , picked it up for a shade over 100 dollars!( With Mom's retired Sears employee discount) Cool
I think the only topics of this thread are fun and being off topic. lol

Why should they intervene? Surely it's okay. Yep, I think we're all a li'l teched in the head. Wink Big Grin

Ninth, don't you try that trick on me. You oughta know by now your twinkling eyes are what have me mesmerized. Wink

Though your photos are quite outstanding Taz.
edit - No Taz. It's still giving me problems. There are parts I can get around in at least. I'll find out how shipping labels go in the morning.
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Oh what a tangled web we weave Miss S!

Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin Too funny!

I only have about 10 and why is to see how messed up they really are. I'll forget soon it's completely fixed. LOL

I know I haven't been around here long, but I don't see why they'd tell us enough already. We're just having fun. I too wonder why noone else posts. I saw Choo post I think about a week ago.

Ninth, I know... those 1000 eyes are just too much for me to resist! Wink
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The Lounge
Conversation and topics of general interest. This is your off topic section of the boards to discuss non-Auctiva related topics.

I am interested in this topic and conversation! And it is definitely off-topic and really has nothing to do with Auctiva.
So we are definitely within the post parameters!

Edit: One day we shall rule the world, but for today this forum will do.
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Being a fly, I have 1000 eyes. That means I see 1000 images of you. That means I see 8000 legs.

That also means you see 8000 eyes looking back at you. Look deeply into my eyes, all 8000 of them. You're getting sleepy... sleepy Big Grin