I have actually had a person want to use UPS and they give me a PO box. Delivery confirmation has saved me on INR chargebacks so i am willing to risk not shipping to APOs. Plus of the 4 APO orders i've had i never got feedback and it kept me worried. I think you are right about the packaging instruction part because the only special instruction they could really have is gift wrapping or a different address and i do neither. As for the confirmed addresses the new Extended seller protection SAYS it is all equal now but i bet it would still help to have a confirmed address on there if i did have to fight it with the CC company. At least if the CC knows i shipped it to the confirmed address and it's unauthorized it will raise red flags for fraud on the buyers end. I bet they changed the policy because fraudsters know to do a SNAD instead of a INR now anyway, and paypal never helps on SNAD they just have the buyer send a brick back with delivery confirmation :P
Thanks again for your advice.