quote:Originally posted by ninth_wave:
Hello all you rabble-rousing message board junkies, Dark Side Babes and Thread Hijinxers: Miss
Shirley, HandlePete, Evil Santa, and especially Miss Member who started it all by instigating a
certain Whack-a-mole on the head outburst of internet violence, not to mention stirring up a
(ninth?) wave of self-doubt to infect not only my long-held sense of gender projection online
(what, you were expecting a coherent sentence?), but even my semblence to earthly beings such as
yourself has been brought into question! (Mars indeed!)
Since you have all done such a inspired job of cajoling me out of my innermost online secret, I
will now and forthwith reward all of you breathless readers with the jaw-dropping moment of
universal truth you have just been dying to know since yesterday - are you ready!
OK that was the big buildup, now for the seriously anti-climatic truth: Sorry to disappoint all you
doubters, and cheaters who voted both ways, but the I'm afraid the majority wins this one. The
Ninth is definitely a guy. (Phew! Glad that's over.) Anyway I hope no one is too disappointed,
because if you are I'll send Miss M to whack you with a piece of Aunt Bertha's fruitcake! And if
that doesn't get you straight, there's always my new Lewisville Slugger from Evil Santa)
To all of you fine keyboard jaspers out there, the poll has been a great fun for me, and I hope a
bit of diversion for you. Thank you all for participating, and for your patience, not only in
waiting for the not-so-big revelation, but for wading through all this incredibly overblown
nonsensical piece of prose, which will finally end with these words of wisdom: If you want a long
and happy life, DO NOT eat that fruitcake.
I still think it's "God only knows"