As a buyer, the thing that turns me off right away is stuff like:
AS IS!!!!!!!!! NO RETURNS!!!!!!!!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!!
When I see that, I'm outta there.
If you are concerned about abuse of a return policy, you might want to just start by taking that "ALL SALES FINAL" part out of all capital letters.
Here is my return policy, and I've never had anything returned yet.
Item must be returned within: 7 Days
Refund will be given as: Merchandise Credit
Return Policy Details: Items must be new and packaging must be undamaged. Customer pays cost of returning items. Please contact us prior to returning item.