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So here is my problem. I have someone who won an auction. In this auction, I have it listed that I will ship the item usps priority mail. I also say that I am willing to hear about cheaper shipping methods, but I reserve the right to choose the shipping option I feel most comfortable. So this buyer emails me, after winning the auction, and says that he will pay me just over $3 to send it usps first class mail because that is what it will cost to send a under 1 pound padded envelope to canada. I email him back and tell him that I will not send metal parts in a padded envelope internationally because of damage concerns. So shipping will be $8 (actual shipping cost) for me to send it first class international. He tells me no, I'm paying you $3 and you're sending in in a padded envelope or I'm turning you into ebay. Also, I will send an email to all of your future bidders telling them how horrible of an experience I have had and not to bid on your items. So I invoice him for the $8 and tell him that in the auction I stated that the item would be shipping via priority mail. I have agreed to change my shipping method in order to save him money, but I cannot do it for less than $8. I also tell him that when he bid, he knew that shipping would be priority mail (as listed) and he agreed to pay that cost when he confirmed his bid.

So now what? What are my options if he leaves me negative feedback turns me in? I don't believe I've done anything wrong. I've tried to work with him, but I cannot lose money by biting the cost of shipping just because someone thinks they can dictate to me. Not to mention he's threatening to harass my future bidders. I emailed eBay, but they said that unless I actually get someone to send me a copy of an email he sent there's nothing I can do.

What are my options for dealing with this guy?

Thanks for the help ahead of time.
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Hmm, well first of all, I suggest you remove your very helpful option regarding cheaper shipping methods from all future listings - frankly there's too many of this sort of person out there to take the risk - choose the shipping method that suits YOU, and stick to it.

Now, I don't know how much feedback you have, or how good it is, but bottom line this idiot will be able to leave one for you, and yes, it'll probably be red. You can then also leave negative for him, and also a comment against his feedback for you - both times you politely (remember, future bidders will read these) explain the bidder refused to comply with your auction policies.

I think it's unlikely he will send emails to all your future bidders, at the end of the day that's likely to be a real PITA for him to keep doing.

But what I don't understand is eBay's response, because I would have thought that such threats are against their rules. Still, eBay? Go figure huh?

You have invoiced him, he either pays, or he doesn't. If he does, send it, if he doesn't, go into the non-paying bidder process (and keep all the emails he has sent you!).

And if he does ever cause someone to retract their bid (which if you monitor carefully you should know) email them yourselves, ask if there was a particular reason they retracted, and ask if there is anything you can do to help, and if they say it was him, get them to send the email onto you.
First of all, he has nothing to turn you in for...your auction, your terms. But you did kind of bring this on yourself, unknowingly:

I have it listed that I will ship the item usps priority mail. I also say that I am willing to hear about cheaper shipping methods, but I reserve the right to choose the shipping option

So now he's dictating to you the seller how to ship and how much he's going to pay. That doesn't fly, this is your auction. In future listings, I would lose the above quoted sentence. List s/h prices for Priority AND Parcel Post (for example). Folks can choose which one they want. Tell int'l bidders (within your auction listing somewhere) to contact you BEFORE bidding for a shipping quote (unless you know for sure what you will have to pay to mail it to said country).

Everyone deals with a nutty buyer now & then and there's always going to be that negative FB from someone who doesn't understand how things work. To me, $8 sounds dirt cheap going from WI to Canada, no matter what the item. Stand firm, if you let him bully you you WILL regret it.
I wouldn't even worry at this point about him emailing other bidders, it's too early for that, but that's a reportable offense to be dealt with if and when the time comes.

Has he paid yet? You've comitted to $8, send him another invoice and just leave it not communicate any further unless it's something pertinant. If he still tries to negotiate shipping, ignore him.
The other replies pretty much have it covered, so I'll just add to it. Never leave your shipping methods or costs open to negotians. Offer just one or two methods that are the most convenient for you. More often than not the methods that you like will also be the best for the customer. Be firm, the customer is not always right, sometimes they are out to scam to you.
First off, as others have said, there is nothing to turn you in for. You've done nothing wrong. Your only mistake was by giving the buyer the freedom to "discuss" alternates in shipping with you. These are not buyer decisions. State your shipping methods and amounts up front, and that's it. If they don't like it, don't bid. In fact, you can turn this buyer in to eBay for making threats against you. Threatening you with feedback extortion and emailing your other buyers are clearly against the rules. Keep those emails. Tell the buyer that you have the rules on your side, and he is the one who can, and will be, reported for making threats.
He could conceivably file a Non Performing Seller report with eBay against you, believing that you are not complying with your own terms of service. You should be prepared to defend yourself just in case he does. Here's the eBay policy:

Just make sure you have all your ducks in a row, and you should be fine... and, as others have said, you need to ditch that portion of your Terms of Service that allows buyers to request different shipping methods. That's just inviting problems.

To me, $8 sounds dirt cheap going from WI to Canada, no matter what the item.

In many cases, First Class Mail International to Canada is cheaper than Domestic First Class Mail for the same weight class.

Go figure.
The biggest problem is postage costs SUCK. Plain and simple. They are just too damn expensive. Buyers don't understand this and they tend to take it out on the seller. You sellers, look at your "star ratings", notice how "shipping and handling" is your lowest value even though you don't screw your buyers by trying to profit on the shipping?

International buyers are the most pissed with the elimination of surface shipping. I just won't ship internationally anymore. When I get emails asking me if I'll ship to Europe or Asia or wherever, I basically say "sure, if you're willing to pay $75 (for example) for the postage". I never hear from them again.

Buyers just are unable to cope with the shipping costs. 1 pound flat rate is now close to $5. A few years ago it was $3.25. Oil, blame it on oil, and greed.

On another note. Good bye Meg Whitman. I for one will not miss you. Good riddance.

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