customer mad at me because I don't accept checks!

As far as whether or not you should take the check, I think that you are the only person that can really make that decision. We accept personal checks, so I would take her check.

I can relate to her being too far away for a money order - when I was growing up, I lived 30 miles away from any kind of civilization.

But, at the same note, she will have to go to a grocery store or a bank eventually... Maybe you could compromise and tell her that you are willing to wait until she is able to get a money order, and maybe give her a specific timeline, like 2 weeks.

I don't advertise that I take personal checks, however a few people have sent them anyway without asking. I was a bit PO'd but they had good feedback so I took the chance and cashed them, they cleared and everything turned out okay.

I would say if she has good feedback then your probably safe, but again like cake said it's your call.

I tend to be the person who speaks as spoken to. If I don't like the "tone" of the person's email then I would probably be less likely to bend the rules. (I know, not good business practice, but I'm bullheaded like that lol) Anyway, one solution would be to ask them which bank it is drawn on, if it is drawn on a bank that has a branch local to you then you can go to that bank to cash it. Advise her that yes, you can wait for it to clear before shipping, but if it does not clear, then you are charged a fee by your bank, and that is not a risk you are willing to take. I took ONE check, and won't do it again. It bounced, and my bank charged me $32.00. I advised the buyer that I would not be shipping their item until they paid by money order or paypal enough to cover the check and the $32 charge, within 2 days they were no longer a registered user. Lesson learned...

This customer doesn't live "near" a post office? Even small towns have post offices.

Anyhow, she's got no one to be mad at but herself for either (a) not reading your listing, or (b) failing to pull a fast one.

Of course you're right to stand your ground. She has to abide by your stated policies, otherwise she risks a UPI.

Also, WaitressChik is right: Anybody who tries to skirt the rules and is then rude about it is waving big red flags.