OK are you going George Carlin on us here Shirley? EDIT: And now you have deleted your reference to that word so now again my post makes no sense! Ninth did it to me yesterday and you today! George Carlin Seven Dirty Words
PLEASE do not click this link if GRAPHIC language offends you! YOU have been warned!
BTW Shirley I believe you already said it!
I liked the joke but where are the blondes. OK Jokes in general now. But I still have some Blonde zingers saved up
Knowing that Miss M sells Harley items she may??? appreciate this one
What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
A: Rebel without a clue.
heh Taz, it's gone. 
Back to blonde then. lol And the blonde on the computer leaving rat poison by the mouse.
Back to blonde then. lol And the blonde on the computer leaving rat poison by the mouse.
Alright, I just can't stick to the blonde jokes.
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Doesnt matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Doesnt matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
OMG! 
Alright I will go off the blonde jokes for a bit
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.
So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'
'OK,' says the guy.
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'
The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.
So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'
'OK,' says the guy.
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'
The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'
Hi everybody,
Back only for a few minutes...just had to see how this thread was progressing
Shirley ~~ LOVE the Jesus/Rottweiler joke! I heard that one a couple days ago...reminds me of my own lil' 90 lb. puppy.
As for ninth_wave (where IS he anyway??) I guess...Paul? or Don? No particular reason, I just don't know! C'mon ninth, here we go again!
Back only for a few minutes...just had to see how this thread was progressing
Shirley ~~ LOVE the Jesus/Rottweiler joke! I heard that one a couple days ago...reminds me of my own lil' 90 lb. puppy.
As for ninth_wave (where IS he anyway??) I guess...Paul? or Don? No particular reason, I just don't know! C'mon ninth, here we go again!
Yeah it is Thursday night almost time to go out for a few twist-offs and a couple games of pool!
One more blonde joke and a zinger also before I go!
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
________________________________________________
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... like a telephone... on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
One more blonde joke and a zinger also before I go!
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
________________________________________________
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... like a telephone... on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
Have a great evenin' Taz!
Wonder how many posts are in 7 pages.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari."
Wonder how many posts are in 7 pages.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari."
OK the twist-offs were great the pool was better but I darn sure missed YA'all
A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet and octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus's owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, "Now, if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner comes up and says "What are you messing around for? Hurry up and play the thing!" The octopus says "Play it? If I can work out how to get its pajamas off I'm gonna screw it!"
A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet and octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus's owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, "Now, if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner comes up and says "What are you messing around for? Hurry up and play the thing!" The octopus says "Play it? If I can work out how to get its pajamas off I'm gonna screw it!"
Hey Taz. Twist offs... I like that. lol We missed you too!!!
Oh, forgot to tell you how hard I laughed at that octopus joke. I thought it was gonna be the one with the 'p' word that I wanted to post.
After knowing my computer is okay, I went back to Pete's link (I was avoiding links) to see if it was the same as this (it's not):
The best blonde joke ever!
http://tinyurl.com/9xh45
Oh, forgot to tell you how hard I laughed at that octopus joke. I thought it was gonna be the one with the 'p' word that I wanted to post.
After knowing my computer is okay, I went back to Pete's link (I was avoiding links) to see if it was the same as this (it's not):
The best blonde joke ever!
http://tinyurl.com/9xh45
P word? OK Miss Shirley what PEE word? Oh you mean ya almost Pissed yaself! HMM Where is George Carlin at now?
Actually I do believe that "piss" is ok to use now? However if I have "pissed" any one off by using this word please feel free to tell me and I will "piss" off
Actually I do believe that "piss" is ok to use now? However if I have "pissed" any one off by using this word please feel free to tell me and I will "piss" off
BTW Pete what is up with giving a link to blonde jokes? Do YA think that will cover yer next 50 posts or what?
OMG 1148 hits and only 12 days until next year. Do Y'all think we can keep it alive that long?
I am going to venture a guess that we can have 4,000 hits by 1-1-2008
OMG 1148 hits and only 12 days until next year. Do Y'all think we can keep it alive that long?
I am going to venture a guess that we can have 4,000 hits by 1-1-2008
LOL Taz!
A blonde is driving on the highway. She looks over and sees another blonde in a wheat field, rowing a boat. She stops and gets out of her car and says, "What are you doing out there?"
The blonde in the wheat field replies, "Fishing."
The first blonde says, "It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid. If I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your butt."
A blonde is driving on the highway. She looks over and sees another blonde in a wheat field, rowing a boat. She stops and gets out of her car and says, "What are you doing out there?"
The blonde in the wheat field replies, "Fishing."
The first blonde says, "It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid. If I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your butt."
Wheat field? Why is she rowing in a wheat field? Is that like trying to get rid of a yeast infection? I just do not get it?
OH well I guess that leads into corn-flakes perfectly!
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Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
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Why not one more before I sign off for the night!
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
OH well I guess that leads into corn-flakes perfectly!
----------------------------------------------------
Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
-----------------------------------------------------
Why not one more before I sign off for the night!
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
Cause wheat's wavy I guess? lol
G'night Taz. To follow your ball deodorant -
Two guys went into a bar and had a few too many beers. One got up and went into the bathroom while the other remained at the bar talking to the bartender.
All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from the bathroom. The drunk at the bar said to the bartender that it sounded like his buddy screaming, so he went into the bathroom to investigate.
He went inside and asked his friend what the problem was. His friend said "Everytime I flush the toilet something reaches up and squeezes my balls." (can I say that? LOL)
His friend shook his head and said, You dumba$$, youre sitting on the mop bucket.
G'night Taz. To follow your ball deodorant -
Two guys went into a bar and had a few too many beers. One got up and went into the bathroom while the other remained at the bar talking to the bartender.
All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from the bathroom. The drunk at the bar said to the bartender that it sounded like his buddy screaming, so he went into the bathroom to investigate.
He went inside and asked his friend what the problem was. His friend said "Everytime I flush the toilet something reaches up and squeezes my balls." (can I say that? LOL)
His friend shook his head and said, You dumba$$, youre sitting on the mop bucket.
OWWW Miss Shirley that is a good one! G-Night have a good one, and see Y'all tomorrow!
LOL @ all the jokes!
So! It's Susanne? Hmmm, nice, it goes with the eyes! Hey, how you doin'?
Don't know about having a life, but need to spend time with my boy before stuffing him into bed at night, then need to spend time with OH before stuffing her into bed at night, by then too knackered to come back on here! I need my beauty sleep (boy, do I need it!)
I reckon ninth is a surfer dude (ninth wave, and the avatar), so what is a good cool surfer dude name guys? C'mon, you will all know these better than me. Wayne? Clint? Rock?
So! It's Susanne? Hmmm, nice, it goes with the eyes! Hey, how you doin'?
Don't know about having a life, but need to spend time with my boy before stuffing him into bed at night, then need to spend time with OH before stuffing her into bed at night, by then too knackered to come back on here! I need my beauty sleep (boy, do I need it!)
I reckon ninth is a surfer dude (ninth wave, and the avatar), so what is a good cool surfer dude name guys? C'mon, you will all know these better than me. Wayne? Clint? Rock?
ROCK??????????????
OMG where's my kleenex....LMAO!!!!
Ninth's gonna LOVE that one...where IS the dude anyway???
OMG where's my kleenex....LMAO!!!!
Ninth's gonna LOVE that one...where IS the dude anyway???
I've been wondering where he is too.
I guessed Aaron. I'll add
Joel?
Greg?
Eddie?
How about Brock instead of Rock? LOL
I guessed Aaron. I'll add
Joel?
Greg?
Eddie?
How about Brock instead of Rock? LOL
OK I am still here! I saw Pete join the fun so I could not resist watching the thread!
Now here is an EVIL SANTA!
BTW Pete those names sound so bizzare!
Now here is an EVIL SANTA!
BTW Pete those names sound so bizzare!