What would U do?

You are under NO obligation to even accept a return for the reason of 'it doesnt fit' unless you state in your auctions that you do.

In any case, if they have already sent it back you do NOT have to ship to an unconfirmed address...Tell them Paypal requires that you send to a confirmed address and that's just the way it is. And THEY are obligated to pay shipping for the second item.

DO NOT under any circumstances ship anything until you get the original item back.

If they ordered through a catalogue they would have to pay shipping twice (maybe), they would also lose the first shipping amt. they paid. And thay wouldn't recieve anything until said catalogue recieved the first item back.

Remember, Delivery Confirmation is your best friend

Side note...I ship to unconfirmed addresses all the time and have never had a problem. Of course the item wasn't worth $200 either.
You lose all your seller protection when you ship to an unconfirmed address. Go to paypal and change your preferences. You can block payments from bidders whose address is unconfirmed, but you'll need to state it in your auctions.

thank you for your reply and I told them I was uncomfortable to deals out side of ebay and rather than wait for me to get package from them and then resend new package it would take after Xmas - to buy the new size and that I will refund the money for the first ones bid price when I get it in same condition it was sent - this way EBAY AND PAYPAL GET THE BLame " for their rules that say no out side deals "
wasnt THAT a bright idea?

I agree totally with member_8880, this is a ridiculous request from the buyer. If they bought a size 8 and now realize they need a size 10, they should KNOW they would have to pay for return shipping and you would not be obligated to ship them a size 10 BEFORE the original dress is returned, DUH! If your listings state that you do not ship to unconfirmed addresses with PayPal, then just reply to the buyer that is your business policy and is required by PayPal to qualify for their Seller Protection Policy.
To avoid their (unjustified) negative feedback, be sure to reply professionally and positively. And save any and all emails you receive and send regarding this issue.

This sounds like the buyer simply made a mistake. They thought they were a size 8 and turns out they are a size 10.

Why not send them the size 10 and complete the transaction? Of course, I would ask that they pay for postage for the second one. And don't ship it before the size 8 is back in your hands. There is no reason that you cannot complete the sale.

As far as eBay goes, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Your transaction still went through eBay in this case, and even if it didn't, who cares. IT's your money. Not eBay's. Your not filing for your fees back (at least I am assuming that your not) so eBay got their money from the deal. You should too.

Randy

thank you all for the really good replies -

having been burnt for being too trusting before I have a happy ending - the buyer bought the second dress at auction - she promised to return the item last week and still has not so I am not too unhappy with it even if she keeps both as I got my wish - she buy it via ebay too - I have no problem with out of ebay if I didnt have an exact item sold n they want to return it - lately I have noticed bidders are out to get their money by resorting to paypal /CC and saying what they can unless you protect your self with whatever you have got - sell high value items and one loss is enough to set me back by $200

So Merry CHristmas all!