quote:
How do you know a blonde's been on the computer?


From the whiteout on the screen

How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?

There's writing on the white-out.
Wadda ya mean ELVES? Dag Gummit deer jerky was tough enough now I gotta do ELVES?
Ninth you have received one more vote! Your masculinity is preserved!
Where is ChooChooGuy at anyway?HULLOOOO !!! Choo your voice is missed here!
Last edited by tazfrompa
ROFLMAO - I've just been catching up on all these posts you guys made while I was in the land of nod, you're a funny bunch! Big Grin

So, we now know Shirley and Miss Member are blondes huh? Super! Cool But, still don't know Miss Member's real name Confused

By the way, a little warning as we move into the festive season. I was reading an article in the newspaper about the dangers of drinking - fair scared the beejeezus out of me Eek So, I have made up my mind, and I am giving up!



Reading, that is! Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
Uh, Pete, you're pretty funny yourself!
Oh, and my real name IS Miss Member Big Grin

>Although long ago on these boards (I think it was these boards) someone called me M80...I thought that was hilarious....KABOOM Big Grin
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a
magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have
one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my
husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss
my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very Dog ruff 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful Tiddleywinks appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"

Bob says, "I lied about my age." His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
You guys & your jokes! Big Grin
Now I'm SURE this thread will stay alive till next year....look at all the views it's gotten, I think it's up to 800 & something.....
Hey all, yup MM This thread will be alive for awhile! Here is one for you!

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's


Old? Yes Apropos. Maybe
By the way Miss M good thing you were not by a mirror when you typed the last post!

quote:
Now I'm SURE this thread will stay alive till next year....look at all the views it's gotten, I think it's up to 800 & something.....

Here 8880 just a bit of a peace offering!

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Thought ya would like that one! My olive branch has been accepted then? LOL
Lets get everyone in the Christmas mood with some seasonal music! Christmas Playlist
I cannot take credit for this however. It is Suthrnjewls that she posted on the other forum I belong to.
Thanks Suthrnjewl Smile

BTW Miss M feel free to copy it and pass it out, after all it is on the WWW, free domain Yadda Yadda Yadda
Tis the Christmas season though! Evil Santa likes playing the devils advocate.

How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?

The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

1000 views Pete! Give us 3 more hours and we will be there!
Ok People 943 views as of this post! wonder how close I will be with my 3 hour estimate for 1000?

A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed "LOOK! A box of donut seeds!
No, those were way off base too Big Grin
Huge Hint: Starts with an S but not spelled the usual way.....

Pete and Shirley are missing all the fun yet again! Although isn't it the middle of the night in the UK now ??
Only 9:40 pm in England? Suzanne?
quote:
I wonder why no one else wants to join in our craziness ??
Everybody is welcome
Yeah I was wondering the same thing? Everyone is just watching us laughing their A**es off I guess?
Did anyone click the Christmas music link I posted?
Well well!
I can't believe you guessed it so soon! You spelled it wrong tho, it's Susanne.
Now we have to try to pry ninth's name out of him Big Grin

I guess unlike some of the rest of us, Pete actually has a life Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
NO offense intended to anyone....
I think we may have hit the magic 1000!Edit: Yup 1007! OK yup we got Susanne now so Ninth is the next target I guess!
Alrighty I gotta go make supper myself and then off to feed the cats the leftovers. Of course there might not be much leftover. New York Strip steaks tonight.
awww, did I miss you guys? (and gal Wink ) Been working on computer and rearranging the furniture. I like it! Big Grin

I gave a hint on the other thread that it's not gender specific. LOL I was going for the shortened version.

Also said over there:
My guess for Ninth - Aaron
hah I should just go get it and copy/paste lol

Back soon with a joke. Smile
Sorry that took so long. Daughter called. Smile Uhoh Taz. Better be careful with my clues then.

A blonde has a stroke of luck and gets herself a red convertible sports car. It's her dream car! She decides to dye her hair red to go with the car and she loves it.

So she's riding on a country road in her new sports car with the top down, her new red hair flying in the wind, enjoying the view.

She sees a flock of sheep and thinks... hmmm, I've always wanted a sheep. She stops and walks out to the sheep herder, tells him she always wanted a sheep of her own, and asks him "If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I have one?" He thinks to himself, now what are the odds of that, and tells her "Sure, you can have one if you can tell me how many there are."

She guesses 289, and the sheep herder is shocked! She got it!! He says "Well ma'am, a deal's a deal. Choose which sheep you'd like and it's yours." So she picks one and heads back to her convertible with it, just ecstatic to have a pet sheep to go with her new car and her new hair.

The sheep herder comes running up yelling "Ma'am, ma'am! Stop! Wait!!" She waits for him to catch up to find out what all the yelling's about.

He tells her "If I can tell you what your original hair color is, can I have my dog back?"
LOL Evil Santa is a baaaaaaad boy! Wink

Ya probably heard this one...

A burglar broke into this house. He's creeping through the living room and hears "Jesus is watching you." He stopped in his tracks, listening and all was quiet. He crept a little farther and heard again, louder "Jesus is watching you."

Terrified, he freezes and looks all around frantically. Finally, he sees a parrot in a corner.

He asks "Was that you that told me Jesus is watching?" "Yes" said the parrot. Relieved, he asked the parrot "What's your name?" "Clarence" said the parrot.

"That's a stupid name for a parrot! What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said "The same idiot that named the Rottweiller Jesus."

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