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ROFLMAO - I've just been catching up on all these posts you guys made while I was in the land of nod, you're a funny bunch! Big Grin

So, we now know Shirley and Miss Member are blondes huh? Super! Cool But, still don't know Miss Member's real name Confused

By the way, a little warning as we move into the festive season. I was reading an article in the newspaper about the dangers of drinking - fair scared the beejeezus out of me Eek So, I have made up my mind, and I am giving up!

Reading, that is! Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a
magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my
husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss
my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very Dog ruff 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful Tiddleywinks appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"

Bob says, "I lied about my age." His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
Hey all, yup MM This thread will be alive for awhile! Here is one for you!

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's

Old? Yes Apropos. Maybe
By the way Miss M good thing you were not by a mirror when you typed the last post!

Now I'm SURE this thread will stay alive till next year....look at all the views it's gotten, I think it's up to 800 & something.....

Here 8880 just a bit of a peace offering!

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Sorry that took so long. Daughter called. Smile Uhoh Taz. Better be careful with my clues then.

A blonde has a stroke of luck and gets herself a red convertible sports car. It's her dream car! She decides to dye her hair red to go with the car and she loves it.

So she's riding on a country road in her new sports car with the top down, her new red hair flying in the wind, enjoying the view.

She sees a flock of sheep and thinks... hmmm, I've always wanted a sheep. She stops and walks out to the sheep herder, tells him she always wanted a sheep of her own, and asks him "If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I have one?" He thinks to himself, now what are the odds of that, and tells her "Sure, you can have one if you can tell me how many there are."

She guesses 289, and the sheep herder is shocked! She got it!! He says "Well ma'am, a deal's a deal. Choose which sheep you'd like and it's yours." So she picks one and heads back to her convertible with it, just ecstatic to have a pet sheep to go with her new car and her new hair.

The sheep herder comes running up yelling "Ma'am, ma'am! Stop! Wait!!" She waits for him to catch up to find out what all the yelling's about.

He tells her "If I can tell you what your original hair color is, can I have my dog back?"
LOL Evil Santa is a baaaaaaad boy! Wink

Ya probably heard this one...

A burglar broke into this house. He's creeping through the living room and hears "Jesus is watching you." He stopped in his tracks, listening and all was quiet. He crept a little farther and heard again, louder "Jesus is watching you."

Terrified, he freezes and looks all around frantically. Finally, he sees a parrot in a corner.

He asks "Was that you that told me Jesus is watching?" "Yes" said the parrot. Relieved, he asked the parrot "What's your name?" "Clarence" said the parrot.

"That's a stupid name for a parrot! What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said "The same idiot that named the Rottweiller Jesus."

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